MacGillivray – In The End Is My Beginning
Antigen Records – Out Now
Despite us only being halfway through March, it’s safe to say that we’ve already been hit with what is sure to be one of the darkest and most haunting albums of the year. In The End Is My Beginning is the eighth solo album from MacGillivray and focuses on the eventful life (and death) of Mary, Queen of Scots. It’s clear that an incredible amount of passion went into creating this album, and there was a clear strive for authenticity, even down to its release date on 8th Feb 2022, the 435th anniversary of Mary’s execution.
MacGillivray is the alias of the multi-talented artist Kirsten Norrie, a Scottish-born musician and poet who has published three poetry collections (with a fourth on the way via Bloodaxe Books in Winter 2023) and several albums alongside producer and musician James Young. Her music has also featured in the soundtracks of a range of films from British director Andrew Kötting (The Whalebone Box, By Ourselves, Swandown). Across all her projects, MacGillivray clearly undertakes a lot of research, and her latest album is no exception, with MacGillivray even visiting several locations that were significant to Mary’s life, including the places of her birth (Linlithgow Palace), imprisonment (Loch Leven), and death (Fotheringhay Castle).
The album opens to ‘Prelude’, a 20-second intro during which the only sound that can be heard is that of creaking stairs, which represent the stairs that Mary is said to have descended on her way to her execution in 1587; it sets the dark and eerie tone that permeates the whole album. The track flows into ‘Dry My Hair, My Feet Are Clean’, the album’s first song. It continues the haunting nature of the introductory track, opening with the sound of eerie and melancholic bell chimes, not dissimilar to a town bell that might ring before a public execution. A variety of distorted and cluttered sounds join the mix before the slow yet menacing percussion and repeating guitar notes bring the song to life. As is the case for many songs on this album, its lyrics are taken from a letter written by Mary. In this case, the final letter she wrote before her execution. As you’d expect, this results in some compelling and thought-provoking lines, such as: “I hold death in my lap, I suckle him, new born lips gently spittling, sweating life from every pore.”
‘Though Death May Use My Bones As Trophies’ takes a more calming approach, reflecting on some of the few happier moments in Mary’s life. The song opens with the sounds of distant birds chirping before the soothing arrangement of dulcitone and harmonium instantly raise images of a castle courtyard, setting the scene perfectly. MacGillivray’s vocals manage to portray a strangely pained beauty, capturing both the love and the hardship that Mary experienced during her various relationships. The track’s opening line: “Though death may use my bones as trophies, black and sown with tears”, is taken from one of another of Mary’s casket letters, but the song also features a number of mentions of violets, a reference to Mary’s ode to her first husband, King Francis II upon his death.
‘Haar Cradle Song’ opens with the creak of James VI’s cradle, Mary’s child, which was recorded at Traquair House in Scotland. The soft dulcitone notes bring a child-like melody before the grand notes of the pedal harmonium join MacGillivray’s vocals and bring the song to its peak. As the sampled cradle suggests, the song focuses on the birth of Mary’s only son. MacGillivray’s poetic lyrics reinforce the mix of love and fear that must have been going through the young royal’s mind during this time: “I’ll turn in my dream, more mother than queen, wait for your breath in the dark.”
Opening with Crisdean MacDonald on the pipes, before soulful drones of the harmonium and the repeating dulcitone notes take centre stage, alongside MacGillivray’s operatic vocals, ‘Love Is A God! (Rizzio’s Bloodstain)’ features lyrics taken from the only surviving song of David Riccio (or Rizzio). Riccio was a guitar tutor and secretary to Mary during her second marriage; he was killed by Mary’s husband who suspected they were having an affair, hence the “bloodstain” mention.
The intense sadness of the first few tracks of the album return with ‘In Dreams That Snow In Dream’. The distorted melody and off-kilter percussion create a thick atmosphere of loss and longing, perhaps capturing how Mary felt during her many years of imprisonment. Its lyrics are taken from a poetry collection authored by MacGillivray to accompany this record, entitled The Gaelic Garden of the Dead.
‘Quand Vous L’Aimiez’ is the first of two tracks sung entirely in French, which was Mary’s first language due to her being raised by her widowed French mother. The song’s lyrics are taken from a sonnet Mary wrote to her third and final husband, James Hepburn, Earl of Bothwell, outlining her passionate jealousy. The song’s title translates to “when you made love.” MacGillivray’s whispered vocals manage to sound both erotic and eerie, capturing the complexities of Mary’s final marriage.
Sung entirely a cappella and just under 2 minutes long, ‘In Angel’s Weed’ is one of the shortest tracks on the album. The lyrics reflect Mary’s troubled life, with the final line, “false suspect and jealousy of those whom fear had wrought to be her mortal foes,” encapsulating the root cause of the many hardships she faced.
The penultimate track, ‘As She Folds Quiet Into Milk’, focuses on Mary’s death, referencing the blindfold she wore as she approached the scaffold. The song’s powerful opening line epitomises the focus of the song: “I am god-filled, a storm on its knees.” The distorted melody recalls a similar feel to the album’s second track, while the deep harmonium drones fill the background with a grim atmosphere.
The final track, ‘Que Suis-Je Helas’, is the most heart-wrenching on the album. Its lyrics are transposed from Mary’s final poem before her execution. The opening lines perfectly encapsulate the intense sorrow that has permeated the entire album: “Alas what am I? What use has my life? I am but a body whose heart’s torn away.” MacGillivray’s soft yet sparse piano chords compliment her incredibly pained and mournful vocals. But, despite the melancholy, the song also creates a sense of peace and beauty, as if thankful that a life of such misery has finally come to an end. Some of Mary’s final words, which she spoke to her executioner, were “I forgive you with all my heart, for now, I hope, you shall make an end of all my troubles,” a similar sentiment to that portrayed here, particularly through lines like: “There is nothing worthwhile I can do, Ask only that my misery should cease.”
In The End Is My Beginning is an incredibly well-realised and immersive journey into the fascinating life of one of the most talked-about and romanticised figures in British history. MacGillivray’s intricate instrumental work, captivating lyrics, and powerful vocals all come together to build this profoundly engaging and focused album. Creating such a deep and authentic project must have been no easy task, but MacGillivray’s talent and passion allow the dark, haunting, and instantly transportive tracks to bring this tragic story to life.
Out now: https://antigenrecords.bandcamp.com/album/in-my-end-is-my-beginning
http://www.macgillivray.org.uk/